To Veil or not to Veil

This is another bone of contention between Trad Catholics and N.O. Catholics and that is the issue of the veil. The veil is tied to Pre Vatican II Mass and the SSPX trad Catholic movement which has effectively been excommunicated and has cast a pal on some practices other Catholics have had the opportunity to use as an expression of faith and their own individual identity. This is especially true for Catholic Goths.

I have to say, Catholic Goths tend to be more traditional. The Catholic Goth women like to veil, receive communion on the tongue, they are more observant about public rosary and Eucharistic Adoration. Is there a place for the Catholic Goth chick who simply likes to veil and is not making a political statement?

First, I want to tell you I do attend a Latin Mass. Don't get excited, it's the only Mass in Latin, said once a day at 7:00 am. The priest is retired and says Mass in the early morning in Latin, well a sort of Latin/English hybrid. I go to the early morning Mass because I have a problem I share in common with a lot of people. I have social anxiety disorder. Big, open, crowded, loud places make me extremely nervous. So nervous I can have an anxiety attack. But the Latin Mass is not as heavily attended, and that's not a political statement it's just that most people are at work or school or not inclined to go that early in the morning. So, my husband and I go to the morning Mass, the church is softly lit, we sing a capella and I wear a veil.

I would actually like to go, when I am up to it, to the Novus Ordo Mass later in the day so I can see my niece and nephew serving Mass. They do serve the Latin Mass once in a while, but now they mostly serve the Novus Ordo Mass. But even if I plan to be there, I can't promise to be there because I can look in the door and panic. It's just too loud, too crowded, too brightly lit. And while my husband, saint that he is, understands and takes me right back home, I am losing out on seeing my niece and nephew, my God babies, serving Our Lord at the altar.

So, my therapist and I have been talking through possible steps I can take, what makes the Latin Mass feel safer? Is it the smaller crowd, the dimmer light? We have talked about a lot of strategies, noise muffling ear plugs I can use when the organ and choir is singing. Glasses that are lightly tinted, so things aren't so bright. But what about the veil? Now, in Europe, seeing women wear veils to Mass is not uncommon, even the Novus Ordo Mass. I use it as a sacramental, much like my Rosary or prayer book. We still go early, the 9:00 am Mass, but I work hard to be present, to remind myself I know most of the people here, to keep my eye on the Tabernacle where the Lord waits for us, to listen to the readings, to watch my babies serving the altar, to the responses and the psalms. And mostly, I see the edges of my veil and I feel sheltered, protected by this piece of lace.

So to veil or not to veil is not a question of where I stand on the Trad Catholic/ Novus Ordo issue. It is a question of can I be there and be present and receive the Lord in the peace and safety of my church and my own frail mind.